Welcome to my 2019! This is the very first post of the new year and I’m feeling quite thrilled! How are you? How did you spend your holidays? Are you all back at work now? I’m feeling quite refreshed in this moment, possibly because I’ve just finished my first run of the year in my brand new pink sports trousers and had a shower singing along my new Spotify shower playlist (I’m so satisfied with that playlist, I think that’s possibly my biggest achievement of 2019 so far). I may be a bit high as well (from the run, what were you thinking?!) and I’m sorry if this post is already quite random.
January so far has proved to be a challenging month. It started in the best possible way, that is in a luxury hotel with a wonderful spa in Malaga. We booked it using a website called loveholidays.com and we were not quite sure whether it was a scam or not. Well, it is not
phew, they just happen to have very good deals. I started the year feeling relaxed and grateful because you know me, that’s just the effect that sleek interior design has on me, and also very happy we gave our money to this hotel chain called Ilunion. According to their website, 40% of their staff have some type of disabilities. We had the pleasure to meet some of them and they were all extraordinary people, I hope I’ll have the chance to stay in their hotels again.
Our romantic retreat in Malaga ended when my family joined the two of us in Spain for five days of mayhem. We rented two cars and drove all around Andalusia, visiting a different city every day. I didn’t get the chance to thoroughly talk to everybody since we were always on the move, but I did spend quite some time with my little brother A. He’s somehow very proud of my blog, he calls me the blogger and thinks I’m cool because I work in London. I know that’s not a big deal, mine isn’t exactly the most popular blog you’ve ever seen and I’m definitely not a superstar, but still, his compliments mean the world to me. The way he looks up at me makes me feel the most successful woman on Earth and that’s a new feeling for me. I always tend to reprimand myself for not being enough, I struggle to keep up with my expectations, I feel like my dreams are always one step ahead of me. Then one day this 12-year-old comes and tells me he loves me and he’s proud of me, my heart just melted! That was the highlight of our holidays in Spain – that, and the marvellous sun! I was not expecting to wear a t-shirt in January and be fine!
The holiday in Spain ended quite abruptly in the airport, where my family took their flight to Italy, while we came back to London. Just when I was starting to catch up on my sisters’ life plans and concerns, we were there, saying goodbye. I’m having flashbacks to how I felt when I returned home from Sydney. After living in Australia for two years, I flew back to Italy to find myself surrounded by people I could not understand that well any longer. That week in Spain made me realise how close I am to reach that point again, when your own family slowly becomes less familiar. It may not be true, that’s just how I am feeling right now or it may be something that is bound to happen anyway in time, now that I’m married and I’m supposed to move on with my own life. Whatever it is, it made me feel lost. As I said to L when they left, I hate them when they are around but I hate them even more when they leave.
As a consequence, the first week back in the UK was a struggle. I wasn’t sure what my place was anymore. I also spent a night out of London to work with my colleagues. We went out for drinks and by the end of the night, I was feeling like the Ester I used to be when I was 18 (aka rebellious and in constant need of a dance floor). I started to miss her deeply, wondered what had happened to her, rifled through memories, felt even more lost. It took me a hangover, lots of sleep, a good book and a new playlist on Spotify to find myself again. Now I’m back to my happy place, I’m rested, had a good run, spent time with some of our closest friends and I’m finally writing about this little journey I went through, which is a very good thing. I can say I’m now ready for 2019! Two weeks too late but hey, I still have a good 353 days to catch up! Time was never a friend of Bobby Long… (I need to watch that movie again, A love song for Bobby Long. If you love books and precious wording, that’s your movie).
So here I am, back to my life and ready to write for another year! I hope you all had a better couple of weeks than I did and that you are feeling at your own best (whatever that means in a month like January)!
See you next week
PS: I’ll go back to publishing posts on Sunday as it’s just a very busy period right now.